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VICTORIA LANDIS
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MUSINGS

I'm not sure anyone reads blogs anymore - at least not those of people who are not renowned in a particular field or famous in some way.

Having said that, I offer my musings about the foibles of life as they occur.

I'm Just Kidding!

5/29/2019

21 Comments

 
Picture
My teen years were in the early 70s. It seems hard to believe now, but it was commonplace to tell jokes about how stupid women (especially blondes) were. I was blonde, with blue eyes.
 
If you grow up around men who denigrate women, however mildly and socially acceptable at the time, you absorb the idea that you are less than. Not worthy of much. I did.
 
In my forties, I began examining my past to understand why I was so insecure. I’d never connected the dots I laid out for you above. Once I started, more long-repressed memories surfaced, and it became clearer and clearer why I had no confidence in my abilities.
 
There were two exceptions to my insecurities. The first was—I was, and knew I was, a good mom. I was/am a good cook, hostess, and housekeeper, too. These things I know as solidly as I know that I breathe. It’s not a wonderment that these were my only confidence categories. I was raised to be a good mom, cook, and housekeeper. That was the expectation placed on me since toddlerhood. It was what I was taught at home. I make meals and desserts from scratch. I can sew draperies and clothing. I was taught to embroider, knit, and crochet. I read Emily Post and other columns about etiquette and hostessing hints, ever determined to excel at those things.
 
One of the jokes that, as I look back was typical of the time, now makes me cringe. As I stood listening to it, I remember clearly laughing along—far too insecure to challenge the basic notion or how I did or did not fit into that description.
 
So, here’s the scenario. And, remember, this is but one small, isolated incident out of a lifetime of programming and denigration. Not a purposely-done-by-my-parents programming, though. They were products of their upbringing and the societal norms of the time. They were (Mom still is) good people. Amazing people, actually, considering where they came from. They did the best they knew how.
 
My father and my high school boyfriend—who would become my first husband—were standing in the kitchen with me, just the three of us. I don’t recall what else was discussed, but somehow this joke happened.
 
Dad said to the boyfriend, “Do you know why educating a beautiful woman is like pouring molasses into a fine Swiss watch? Because everything stops.”
 
Boyfriend laughed uproariously with my dad. I laughed along, and I remember the glum feeling that went along. It wasn’t outrage or upset on my part. No, I believed the joke was correct. The glum feeling was a tired acceptance—I realize now—that the joke truly did describe my life and all I couldn’t hope for.
 
It takes a lot of hard work and diligence to dredge up old memories, counter them, and finally understand why and how the deep, deep insecurities were imbedded. Thank God, I did.

21 Comments
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7/20/2019 08:37:11 pm

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5/27/2020 06:16:54 pm

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7/10/2021 05:09:18 pm

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8/6/2021 06:11:57 pm


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Jackson Tyrese
5/27/2020 06:15:05 pm

Look before you leap as the adage says and know fully the habits of your partner before venturing into a relationship. A broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage, a lot of people have suffered the pain of infidelity. Can you boast emphatically your spouse isn’t seeing someone else???? No, think about it how can you be in a relationship which you’ve invested so much in both in cash, affection and trust but to discover you are being played or made a fool that feeling hurts so bad which leads to an everlasting scar. You may feel otherwise and say yes but deep down you don’t have genuine reason to love or trust him cause he hasn’t been put to test. Men could be cruel, you can’t know a man 100percent cuz they are can easily be influenced by the peer (friends) they hang around with. You need to know the truth cause the Bible says “you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free”. Wake up from your slumber and give it a shot like I did which turn out to be my best move in life. I was bitterly maltreated by my ex-husband after so many months of being perplexed with no where to go to who to cry on. I was rescued with the help of a great IT personnel webhubghost (@) gmail!!com who got me concrete evidence of my spouse’s behavior by remotely tapping to his mobile device where I got to retrieve all the text messages, call logs, pictures with some unknown women which set me free from his bondage. You can as well get similar help to turn around your life for good by reaching out to the able hands of webhubghost at gmail!!com today and be completely glad you read this post. This app works perfectly but you need the help of the real deal with the email in the comment to get loose from the chains of a cheater, and abusive relationship.

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8/25/2020 06:44:16 am

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5/22/2021 01:34:58 pm

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Sandra Rivers
6/12/2021 01:03:47 am

I know there are probably women reading this who can say, “I caught my husband cheating.” With that discovery, it must feel like your entire world has come crashing to the ground. Then what follows is probably a combination of anger, grief, and panic at what might lay ahead. Not to mention, of course, the horror of wondering how this will affect your children. Here is my own story of how I caught my husband in his cheating ways. I could remember when I was in a very confused and disturbed state of mind with my husband's strange movement to the extent that I had to hire a private investigator who can help me hack his cell phone to find out what he's been doing on his Facebook, Instagram, emails, WhatsApp and call logs in real time. It was quite difficult to get a real IT expert/PI most of the ones recommended online are faux and not honest. Ben with the email Webhubghost (@) gmailcom came my way with a satisfactory service which makes him different. He gave me clear and vivid proof of his phone activities in just few hours to decide my fate. This info retrieved from his phone helped me through our divorce, you can reach out to Ben at webhubghost (@) gmailcom for all tracking, spying and tech services. I concluded, those who cheat on their partners who are loyal to them; don't deserve them. It is a trashy attitude to disrespect a person who is loyal in a relationship, by cheating on him or her.

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6/21/2021 08:53:58 am


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Andre Jack
7/10/2021 05:10:14 pm

People cheats due to lack of being contented with their partner or some other reasons. You can’t trust your partner 100% cause you get to know different behavior in a person each day. if you suspect your partner is cheating it’s better to know the truth at once so you can get the peace of mind before it’s too late and you won’t live a life full of regrets. You can’t do this on your own that’s why you need the assistance of an IT expert/PI to monitor and track all the activities of your partner in one swipe. Here is a good news, Zion can simply help you get this info without stress. Are you scared of being ripped off?? You don’t need to worry any longer he provides a reliable service, proof before full payment and offers a refund policy which are strictly observed. You can write him at Remotespytech (@) Gmail, com for a wonderful and genuine services. At first, I came across his info on the internet after long search for a genuine help cause I was on a business trip to the UK while my friends in Iowa told me my spouse is seeing someone else I couldn’t believe this cause we both trusted each other. I need a quick solution to my curiosity to know the truth cause nothing can be compared to peace of mind, he gave me access to my spouse’s phone within 3 hours i contacted him and he got me access to all incoming and outgoing text messages, call logs, WhatsApp, iMessages etc. Then I got to know they’ve been together for the past few months, are you in a similar situation? Don’t wait any longer write Remotespytech (@) gmail,com for a topnotch assistance....

Stay safe

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Gloria Hugo
12/7/2021 02:12:05 pm

Please everyone should be careful and stop being deceived by all these brokers and account managers, they scammed me over $50,000 of my investment capital, they kept on requesting for extra funds before a withdrawal request can be accepted and processed, in the end, I lost all my money. All efforts to reach out to their customer support desk had declined, I found it very hard to move on. God so kind I followed a broadcast that teaches on how scammed victims can recover their fund, I contacted the email provided for consultation, I got feedback after some hours and I was asked to provide all legal details concerning my investment, I did exactly what they instructed me to do without delay, to my greatest surprise I was able to recover my money back including my profit which my capital generated. I said I will not hold this to myself but share it to the public so that all scammed victims can get their funds back. Lastly, their contact - darkspyaccess @ gmail.com

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Chris Biden
2/20/2022 07:56:36 pm

I like the answer about switching numbers in phones- but that means they actually have that persons number saved or you know who the person is in their phone. But if you do have access to their phone- use a key-logger- I don’t know which to suggest- but I have used 2, but you have to research and research to find a good one and they cost money- but, if you want to know everything they type on their phone, their social media and app usage and their geographic location- the 2nd one I used also had a call recorder and a microphone tapper- which would send a secret text to her phone and then give me listening access to her surroundings. I know- I was crazy for a brief moment in life and realized I didn’t need to torture myself trying to play detective, and I cut her loose. She has since admitted to one infidelity accidentally or maybe on purpose because she wanted to try to hurt me, either way I was indifferent. Back to spying- I did this when I realized chunks of texts between her male boss and her missing from her phone- and she had recently told me she was in trouble at work for snap chatting with the male employees, not him, but others (yeah, right) her avoiding me at the Christmas party was very evident, I mean skin crawling evident. Anyways, you need access to her phone within 1-2 hours. TO CATCH ANYONE RED HANDED HIRE Henry Lucas via spaceghostspy @gmailcom THEY ARE SO SWIFT ACCURATE AND RELIABLE...............

Reply



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    Author note

    I believe the only way to get through the slings and arrows life throws at all of us is to find the humor.

    ​If not for laughter, we would all resemble Dorian Gray's hidden portrait.

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